why???

suddenly i was told tat HE admitted to the hospital.
suddenly HE had gastric the day before.
suddenly i was asked, when will i go HOME?

all of a sudden, BAD NEWS comes to me!

why im not being informed earlier?
why it is I, being to know things LAST?
why? (dont ask me why)

im super busy with LOADS of assignments now,
this week gotta submit 1 report, 1 presentation
nex week gotta submit 2 assignments, 1 presentation
nex nex week MORE!

i reli wana go HOME, to visit HIM
go HOME before it is too late
i have a bad feeling, which i dont want to make myself regret
i experienced once, 2 years ago
i was vv regret after since...

til now i still cant forgive myself for wat i've done
for how i treated HER
for how stupid n childish i WAS

im S O R R Y

i hope to go HOME tis week,
i wish to see HIM
i pray that NO complications occurred

HE was sent to ICU today
due to low heart rate and low blood pressure >.<

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MAY GOD BLESS HIM
GET WELL SOON
RECOVER SOON
TAKE GOOD CARE
I WILL BE BACK!!!

im Sorry.....

*************************************************************************************************************************************************

last nite, i had a nitemare
i dont know whether its ONLY nitemare, or its TRUE??

in the middle of the nite
i saw a RED color lady figure,
wearing Japanese costume
'standing' nex to my roommate

i blinked once
i blinked twice
still there..
i blinked 3rd time
my god, GONE!!
'it' disappear!!
i closed my eye
i can FEEL 'it's coming towards me
nearer and nearer
goshh~~~

my mouth is opened
but i couldnt shout out a thing!
i couldnt move abit
i cant reli breathe
i heard noises

i prayed and fall asleep at last....
what the....???!!!?!!!

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went to temple and get the 符
at least,
i feel PEACE of MIND

why me???